Lately, I hear a lot of chatter about kids forgetting to bring home their homework with everyone settling in to school. Lots of people like to offer tough love parenting advice, many saying let them fail, let the teacher handle it..... it's a lesson. I for one disagree. If you know my kids or me for that matter, you would also know that I am not one who coddles my children. Raising productive members of society, and I have one shot at raising them, so I am going to make it count.
First of all, my kid gets home.....and realizes they forgot their homework. They have two options: they can say nothing and take the zero the next day, or they can come to me and tell me they forgot their homework at school. If they come to me, then they are not intentionally forgetting their homework. Maybe they were trying to be sure they caught the bus, or lending an ear to a friend in need. They are miniature adults, do you ever forget things? I know I do, so in the end its more important in our house that we figure out how to get the homework and do the assignment. It's problem solving and a life skill. I'm sure if they could drive and had a car they would have gone back for the homework. So we discuss what they forgot, and I let them offer solutions. Sometimes a friend can take a photo of the pages assigned, if the school is still open we go back (we usually don't figure out the work is missing until its too late), or there have even been times that I have put out a Facebook plea for anyone with the same book to send me photos of the pages. The end result is that we usually find the assignment, sometimes its a little more work than others, but it gets done. My child doesn't have to fail to learn a lesson, in fact one of the biggest lessons that they learn is that Mom's got their back.
The same applies if a kid forgets their homework at home and needs it for class, or even their lunch. We all have bad days and it's ok to forget something. I understand that teachers can't always take excuses, but singling a kid out for not having a homework assignment is not teaching them anything. I would much rather take my child the homework so that when they go over it in class, they get the real lesson of the assignment itself. Again, as a mom, that's having their back.
Now mind you, when I have their back, I am usually fussing at them. We work towards figuring out how to prevent this from happening again. Does it usually happen again, yes, but it's not a regular thing. Over the years I have delivered, lunches, homework, leotards, him clothes, turned around for forgotten cleats, ball bags. I have also gone back to the school for forgotten books, homework, driven across town to pick up assignments from friends, driven across town to loan books too.
A few years ago I got a call from my college kid. One of his friends had taken an adderall (not his own) and the drank a big gulp espresso (studying for a final exam)....and was not reacting well. He wanted advice as to what to do, I sent them to the ER, and it turns out the young man was fine (a little hyped up.....and just needed to run its course). That was the time that I realized that my shild understood that I had his back!
It's ok for a child to forget something and it's ok to have their back!
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